Big Yellow Taxi

Big Yellow Taxi

     Do you remember “Big Yellow Taxi” by Joni Mitchell? If you don’t know her original, you’ve no doubt heard one of the 470 cover versions of this song (no joke! Look it up)     It is timeless, no doubt, because everyone knows the...
Attitude!

Attitude!

These last 4 weeks have been a rushing waterfall of emotions. I haven’t cried so much since my dad died. But maybe that’s ok- it’s part of my healing. I am grieving the loss of not just my independence- it feels like something bigger was stolen from me. Like a...
Heavy Heart

Heavy Heart

  Today I write with a heavy heart and a mind unsettled. After nearly 22 months of freedom from seizures, I had a nasty one last week. I was washing my face and my husband heard the crash of me falling down in the bathroom. I awoke to his concerned face over me,...
Flashbacks and moving forward

Flashbacks and moving forward

  Living with epilepsy was always like waiting for the other shoe to drop. I might feel fine when I woke in the morning, but never could predict when or where the next seizure would happen.  I felt like there was an ever-present storm cloud on my radar,...
A Strange Guilt

A Strange Guilt

July 2019At this writing I am nearing 18 months since brain surgery. What was once a pipe dream is my reality: a brain that doesn’t misfire! A year and a half out, 17 and a half years since diagnosis…the emotions have been so intense, pulsating in excitement,...
Stormy Days

Stormy Days

For the first 16 years of marriage, Wayne and I knew nothing but this: my epilepsy was part of our norm.  We had a jump start learning the “worse” side of “for better or worse”. I felt like I was walking on a minefield- how many seizures might blow up on my face...
On Losing Control

On Losing Control

We all like to be in control…And most of us function better with some regularity and predictability in life; you don’t have to be a “control freak” to recognize this. I’ve seen this truth solidified since becoming a parent; kids thrive with routine. And you’ve...
Scary seizure episodes

Scary seizure episodes

   Battling long-term physical conditions takes its toll on you. Day by day, you trudge along, hoping for a brighter future or some kind of relief. If I went a few days without a seizure I would think, wow, if only this could last. But it didn’t, and my...
Epilepsy 101

Epilepsy 101

                                                      One in 26. That’s the statistic for the number of us who will develop...
Help is on the way

Help is on the way

Remember that excitement and counting the days till your 16th birthday, that oh-so-magical new freedom of driving? I enjoyed that privilege for seven years, then epilepsy stole that freedom. Thus began my daily lesson in asking for help.In Colorado, the rule is “3...