Where to begin? I’m a mom, I’m a believer, I’m a survivor, and I’m hoping to encourage and maybe even inspire by sharing some of my ups & downs, because I know the struggle of living with a long-term health condition.

I’ve dealt with epilepsy for the last 17 years, a journey that culminated with brain surgery one year  ago and- FINALLY- an end to the seizures that were never controlled by any medication or therapy, traditional or “alternative”.

But I suppose it all begins with that car accident…in January 1998, I rolled my car while driving alone and fractured my skull, suffered a massive head trauma and began seizing in the ER. Taking the short-term seizure meds was actually the least of my worries, one of those “just to be safe” doctor’s orders.  I was trying to recover from a broken neck, fractures in my sternum and ribs, not to mention the mental anguish of dealing with such an event. In my mind, that seizure was a fluke, a one-time event.

Fast forward 4 years. I’d graduated college and found the man of my dreams. We’d just gotten engaged when the seizures started, and so began the journey through epilepsy.  Many people with epilepsy have no known cause; for me, the most rational origin was that car accident.

Initially the drugs stabilized my seizures, so I thought I was free to continue life as usual. Sadly, control was an unrealistic hope; epilepsy is not an easy condition to manage. Newlywed and newly diagnosed, I journaled much during that time:

7/25/03 Last night Wayne and I were in the mall and I had one of my auras and the next thing I knew Wayne was looking in my face with concern. I remember nothing. He said I’d been smacking my lips, lost touch with the world, and 3 more times it happened after we’d gone to bed. The third time at 5am I paged the on-call Dr and she told me to go up to 2000mg/day of Keppra.

My bizarre occurrences were classic signs of simple and partial-complex seizures. It would begin with a strange, hot deja-vu feeling and immediately I was stuck, staring, talking nonsense or making strange movements. It was a nightmarish few minutes that I could never remember afterwards.

So you see why I didn’t drive for the 16 years…more about that frustration later. I felt as though my body and mind had betrayed me. Have you ever been there?
I’ll try to keep my posts shorter after this.  But now you know how it all began, and I’m an open book now, so ask me anything!
😊❤️Zanna